


Lists

by stevieraebarnes



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Images, Language, McSweeney's List AU, Multimedia Fic, Podfic Available, Satire, batfam, don't mind my shoddy image embedding okay?, or the screenshot quality i'm getting there guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-09-18 19:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 0
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20318098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevieraebarnes/pseuds/stevieraebarnes
Summary: Lists by the Batfam





	1. List: Batfamily Security Questions

**Author's Note:**

> A place to dump some of my dumb McSweeney's-style lists I've been working on off and on. Nowhere near as good as the originals. 10/10 recommend those.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Damian Wayne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/nihilistic-password-security-questions)


	2. List: Alternatives to Resting Bat Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Tim Drake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alternatives-to-resting-bitch-face)
> 
> Better tumblr version [here](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/post/188349613229/stop-rolling-your-eyes-behind-your-domino-lens)


	3. List: Batfamily Security Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Barbara Gordon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-ive-womansplained-to-men)


	4. List: Impossible reCAPTCHAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Jason Todd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/impossible-recaptchas)
> 
> Better tumblr version [here](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/post/188195317959/select-all-images-of-robins-who-have-not)


	5. List: 15 Guaranteed Ways to Get Your Pre-child Life Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Bruce Wayne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/10-guaranteed-ways-to-get-your-pre-baby-body-back)
> 
> Better quality tumblr version [here](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/post/188262467516/you-cant-theres-no-return-policy-those)


	6. It's Decorative Bat Season, Motherfuckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Stephanie Brown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For elwon, who inquired about a Steph article. Mind the language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [classic](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers)
> 
> Tumblr version [here](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/post/187964324511/well-guess-who-just-added-a-new-bat-logo-to-their)


	7. Vigilantism is Illegal, Except When it Comes to My Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Jim Gordon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/abortion-is-immoral-except-when-it-comes-to-my-mistresses)
> 
> Better tumblr version [here](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/post/188155455136/what-is-this-notice-gcpd-releases-timely-warnings)


	8. List: The Twelve Labors of Nightwing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Dick Grayson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the _Bibliotheca of Pseudo-Apollodorus_ and found a corresponding McSweeney's [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-12-labors-of-millennial-hercules)
> 
> Bonus list coming soon.


	9. List: Hemingway Was a Hack, Please Accept These Listings For Footwear of Children I Have Cared For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By Alfred Pennyworth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last list goes to Alfred, who has seen so many lonely children fly through Wayne Manor with all manner of baggage. Sorry for the slight angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OBO and ISO = "or best offer" and "in search of," respectively. The year 1987 is in reference to Damian's debut.
> 
> Based on Ernest Hemingway's (or someone else's, there's apparently a long history of this) six word story — “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” And also this McSweeney’s [list](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hemingways-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-re-imagined-by-other-authors?fbclid=IwAR243CzpoFQ1iHpa7EesXO7UHVcyVmuBlRqFG9QQyA67ySf9FSyAM3h3qi8)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for indulging my side-hobby. These works were just hanging out in my google docs not doing anything and I thought I'd share them here *shrugs*
> 
> UPDATE: Better quality versions slowly coming to tumblr under the [mcsweeney tag](https://stevieraebarnes.tumblr.com/tagged/mcsweeney%27s)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Lists](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604459) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass), [frecklebombfic (frecklebomb)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklebomb/pseuds/frecklebombfic), [GoLBPodfics (GodOfLaundryBaskets)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodOfLaundryBaskets/pseuds/GoLBPodfics), [Kess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kess/pseuds/Kess), [knight_tracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_tracer/pseuds/knight_tracer), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins), [Rindle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rindle/pseuds/Rindle), [The_Casual_Sounds (the_casual_cheesecake)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_casual_cheesecake/pseuds/The_Casual_Sounds), [yeswayappianway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeswayappianway/pseuds/yeswayappianway)


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